In the world of foster care and adoption
the rules that guide most of our other relationships
are strangely twisted.

When a child fails to heed a parent's direction
that child is not then discharged from the family.
Children are allowed the blunders that build character
and teach the lessons that shape adulthood.

In foster care the young ward is expected to be
obedient, without fault and most of all grateful.
These traits are rarely found in the person of any child;
the histories that these children must endure leave no room for
qualities that can only hope to be developed in the safety of family.

When I was a young boy I wondered
how it was that I would ever repay my mother.
The mother that protected me so furiously from all that might cause me harm.

When I became a teen I resented that debt.
Resentment built upon the knowledge that I could never repay that which
was given willingly.

One of the faces of my mother's protection hid the secret of my origin.
She fought diligently for over thirty years. She enlisted the aid and support
of many that would call me family. When the secret was revealed years of
angst and trepidation drifted slowly away.

Years later I sometime struggle to reconcile a love so true that it could endure
such bitter internal turmoil. While the sting of a lifetime of lies brings me little comfort I must appreciate
the agony of silence.
Family however they are formed are more then just a grouping of individuals. The collective
nature of the family must offer protection to the individual in order to keep the collective alive.
When you have a group of individuals that strive for themselves alone. That then becomes a mob.